true happiness

i remember when i was five-year-old, i stayed with my grandma for a month.. i can't remember why i decided to stay with her away from my family for a month, i'm sure it must be a hell of good reason and i wish i still have the brain cells for that memory in my head so i could remember better.. but i guess smoking does effect.. damn! i still remember the smell of her hair, "rambut tok bau macam biskut merry la tok!", god knows how much i miss the smell.. back to the day when i thought the value of 50 cents is is way too much for a small kid like me to ask.. i should have ask more for being a good boy! kidding.. "cucur kodok tok best la, kalau dapat makan hari ni kan best!", my favorite.. for being a good boy i got what i deserved.. she was the only woman that understand all my needs.. and i would trade anything just to spend one day with her again.. all these years of seeking for the true hapiness, i forgot that i've found it.. back to the day when power rangers is everything.. i've found my true happiness when i never thought of looking for it.. i'm no longer in a quest for the true happiness anymore, i'm in a quest for the lasting happiness now.. im not really sure where to begin actually..

i miss you tok chah.. al-fatihah..

something about tony

"what is the similarity between tony fernandes and tony jaa?", that was the question i asked OJ and aqila.. yeah i know the answer you might think of right now is they both share the same first name.. if that was the answer, so where is the funny part? so the real funny answer is, they both don't know you.. yeah its lame, but the real funny part is when aqila asked me who is tony jaa.. she looked into my eyes hoping for the answer.. so i said, "tony jaa tu adik beradik tony hawk!".. me and OJ started to laugh at aqila.. after a sucker punch on my hand, i decided to tell her who tony jaa is.. (huh! jangan harap la) so i said, "tony jaa tu yang suara for bart simpson.." so again "OJ, apa lagi, jom gelak!!", it was so funny.. sorry aqila, i can't help it..

final lullaby

i have few more hours until the morning dies.. i should not have any reason not to fall asleep but i should have reasons not to wake up.. but the day had interfered my night by giving me a permanent thought that surely keeps my eyes permanently open.. should i take a sleeping pill every night before slumber? maybe all i need is a sweet lullaby from the love one that would kill me for a good slumber so when i wake up, it feels like i've been sleeping under the open starry sky, where the wind blows slowly, covering my body like a blanket.. but for the meantime, i really need to sleep.. sleeping pills sound really friendly.. im afraid i might fall asleep too long and wake up on different bed..

silverchair - miss you love

this song never fails to make me feel down.. it makes me in all the sudden think deeply in emotion every time i listen to it.. for some other people, they may do something if they miss their love one.. maybe a text message or a short phone call just to say hello.. the point is there is still something they can do about it.. but for me in the other hand, all i can do is pray before i sleep hoping somehow she could hear me.. i just want to tell her how much i miss her.. i know i've done too little to ask for something so big.. i must be lucky if she appears in my dreams.. and the last time she did, i drowned in tears.. i hate you for leaving me twice but i hate you even more for making me cry everytime i miss you.. this is one of your favorite song and i dedicate it as a prayer to you.. i miss you love..

al-fatihah to you Aisyah Bte Zaid..

Millionaire say
Got a big shot deal
And thrown it all away but
But Im not too sure
How Im supposed to feel
Or what Im supposed to say

But Im not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love

Make room for the prey
cause Im coming in
With what I wanna say but
Its gonna hurt
And I love the pain
A breeding ground for hate but...

Im not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
Ive no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss use love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
Im supposed to love you back

Its just a fad
Part of the teenage angst brigade and
Im not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
Ive no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss use love

Remember two days
Ive no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss use love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
Im supposed to love you back

no alarm

i find it is hard for me to write a new song nowadays since there's no reason for me to write again.. all i need is an inspiration to write again.. a good song that surely can make the hairs stand up when someone hears it.. if i write a song about the love one, who am i fooling? since i have no one to love.. i'm just taking a long break from all this.. but inspiration will surely comes.. i just have to wait.. for now i'm focusing on myself, i'm not being selfish, i just need to do what's best for me.. so please, kill the alarm..

surprise, surprise!

am i running out of surprise? it feels like my life isn't interesting as it use to be.. or maybe its me that losing my interest toward life? whatever it is, something or someone please pull me out before i lost my mind.. take me to somewhere new, maybe a funfair, i don't care just please don't let the day ends before a smile carved on my face.. i don't wanna stuck doing things that i probably have to do in the next, next day too.. i want something to remember and every time i think of it i could smile.. even when i tell the story, someone else also could smile.. so please, do surprise me..

butterfly isnt for everyone..

yeah its dota again.. last nite i was using this hero calls tinker.. all my dota friends see me as noob like always.. "khai noob doh!", its hurt but i cant deny.. but yet i see myself as a noob with bright future in this game.. but thanks to aiman for his guidance last nite.. i bought an item that wasnt for tinker, butterfly.. i just love that item not just because it sounds beautiful.. but it was an honest and one time mistake.. please all my geek, nerd friends.. forgive me will ya? what am i?? somebody wake me from this nerdyland!

saturday nite shits

yesterday was fun after a dinner at rasta.. me, aiman, nauwar and qila went to watch a theater in sentul.. it was a new experience but i think it will be my first and last.. sorry qila, nauwar.. i prefer watching tv better.. to be honest im not really a theater kind of guy.. so does aiman.. or maybe we just dont use our brain that much.. but the girl in the front role was a real beauty.. she was the reason why i couldn't concentrate.. after theater we went back to aiman's house because he needs to check his house for some unclear reason.. and then we all got stuck in the car thinking what is the next plan for the night.. after a while we decided to go to kota damansara for a late nite dinner.. we talked, we smoked and then we went home..

me and faris decided to stay at aiman house after dota.. aiman got sick, a flu maybe.. so it just me, faris and aiman's cousin, samin.. the leftover from last meeting still smelling good.. so finally i end up fly up high again with samin and faris.. samin knocked out after a few puff.. it was really a bad way for the nite to end.. but i did it anyway..

last nite

i dont know wht to say bout last nite.. it was in the middle between good and bad.. aiman wanted us to try using new method.. haha so i end up got high up in the sky.. i still do feel lil bit high ryte now..

and last nite i went to see the most wonderful person in the world.. the road to her house seemed so long.. plus my body was so heavy.. like always she's having a problem opening the gate but her beauty caught my attention like always.. worth of fighting a dragon just to see her (i was a knight).. we were talking and i cant hide the truth that i got high.. kantoi!! haha.. n then all the sudden her mom called asking where she is and she was so nervous.. so i decided tht i should go.. i dont want to cause any trouble.. i was so damn messed up but one thing i remember is we were kissing and it was like kissing an angel (maybe coz i was so high).. it was the best kiss after so damn long.. the best way for the nite to end.. then i hugged her goodbye..

then we went to eat.. haziq, faris n wan left (noobs!)..